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This is a
very good analogy of the breeding process. Canine
pregnancy lasts nine weeks and then you have approximately 8 weeks
of raring to do. We have identified and defined the stages we go
through in his process: Week one: Was he
the right one? Typified
by agonizing over whether you chose the right stud. Week two: Was she
fertile? Indicated
by mildly threatening thoughts directed at your bitch and concern
about wasted $$$. Week
three: Oh lord,
we missed her...stupid sterile stud dog. Week
four: Vet
appointments fix everything. You
schedule a vet visit for a sonogram and wake up the morning of the
planned test to discover she looks like she ate a watermelon! Week
five: Not
enough food in the world to feed this bitch... Week six: Oh lord
she's lost some babies...when really she has just moved them around
a bit and now she is hanging down more than spread out like a
watermelon. Week
seven: Dreams of
glory featuring puppies with the best parts of both parents. Week
eight: Nightmares
of disaster featuring puppies that looks like the neighbor’s dog. Week
nine: Maximum
guilt...how could you do this to this sweet little girl, she can't
eat or sleep and neither can you. Labor, Stage
One: Now, is
it now? No she is just rehearsing AND she has picked out one fake
place for puppies, one real place and just rolls her eyes at the
lovely new helping facility you built for her. Stage
Two: Well the
fake place (the closet) has been passed up for the bushes in the
front yard and you cannot convince her that her humongous butt is
clearly visible to all passers-by...her head is hidden, she thinks
she is in a den and to h*** with you, you have no idea what you are
doing. Your job is to get her into the whelping box without
stressing this delicate little dog mom o be or calling in the crane
or forklift. Actual
delivery of babies: At this
point Time is not on your side...it races, then crawls, races then
crawls. Do you call the vet, do you wait. You have lighter
moments...the bitch trying to crawl into the laundry basket with the
babies. Puppies
Day one: Hubby
comes in to view the litter, points at one and says, "Wow is he
cute". He is
half the size of the other babies. Puppies
Week One: Looking
for heads in all the wrong places...now you KNOW better than to look
for heads when they have smashed up muzzles from nursing. Puppies
Weeks Two and Three: You do
their stress activities, monitor weights and every day hubby comes
in to check on his boy...yes he is cute... fast, too. Easy to be
fast when you are long
as a freight train with long legs to match. You've picked out the
best rears and tails from watching them nurse. During week three you
discuss devotion to motherhood with your bitch when she announces
the darn things have sharp teeth. Week Four
and Five: They
really are cute and you are caught thinking they are cute, because
they are now on solid food and you are fast running out of clean
paper. Hubby plays with his boy child and begs you to stack him up
and tell him what you think...you develop really good diversionary
strategies. Week six: You are
starting serious evaluation and start taking pictures...you notice
while doing the photographs that hubby's pick is now the same size
as his littermates. The litter looks really good...aren't you glad
you got that generic sperm and they all look like your bitch, who is
perfect in every way. Week
seven: While
analyzing the photos you keep coming back to one! Striking male who
is very balanced and very proportioned...this cannot be happening,
Could this be the "little " male your hubby liked. THAT
can't be.... Week
eight: The puppy party where all your friends and some of your enemies come over to pick your little darlings apart in great detail and make rude remarks about the faults that nasty stud produced. Their decision is unanimous...pick of the litter is a strong handsome boy who trots wonderfully, comes when called and thinks your hubby hung the moon.
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